General’s mistress or Petraeus’ lover?

It is General David Petraeus’ resignation as head of the CIA is trading now. Media is all abuzz and busy putting all the blame on Paula Broadwell and casting aspersions on Petraeus’ ‘mistress’. It is sad that media houses are busy debating marital infidelity in a language that upholds sexist roles.

General Petraeus’ story could have been a simple enough news item. That he made a mistake and now repents. He loved Broadwell and betrayed his wife and his colleagues. But he regrets and is calling it quits. He never blamed anyone, but he took it himself.

Media is assassinating Broadwell’s character. Publications and broadcasting units are questioning her motives of work. “This framing is sometimes so subtle and feels so normal that we don’t even see it, yet it affects not only how we see Petraeus and Broadwell but also how we see all men and women involved in the institution of marriage,” says Kimberly Dark, a popular American performing artiste and writer, in an article published in Ms Magazine.

Dark says that at first glance, Petraeus and Broadwell seem to have a lot in common, though their stories will unfold very differently as a result of their sexual relationship. “Both are West Point graduates with a penchant for high-level athletic pursuits, a history of military service and a laudable record of accomplishments. His are well known, and though she is a generation behind him in age, she is a Harvard Research Fellow, will soon receive a Ph.D. and has researched and written a book about Petraeus–an accomplishment that should remain undimmed by her romantic relationship with him. But he is being portrayed as the fallen giant and she as the selfish slayer of his career, as well as a potential Mata Hari-like character,” he says.

Unfortunately, no report seems concerned about what will happen to her career as a result of his choice to disclose their relationship. It is unfortunate that nobody portrays them as lovers but terms Broadwell as Petraeus’ mistress.  Why everyone wants to distort facts while everyone knows that we are speaking about two consenting adults who chose to have sex.

Dark says: “Couples are entitled to make their own personal arrangements regarding fidelity and relationships with friends and family. Sex outside of marriage is nothing new and need not always represent a marital tragedy. To assume that it does, and that one man’s wife became another man’s mistress, as the public language of this story often states, reifies women’s position as property. Scott Broadwell becomes a cuckold–a man from whom something has been taken by another man. There is no potential that the Broadwells are working out the terms of their relationship as they see fit, as adults and equals would do.”

Love is love, whether the lovers are married to others or unmarried.